Sunday, January 17, 2010

Delirium & Starvation of The Chunky One

I am delirious. I really am. I am full and my stomach is growling all at the same time... ALL the time. I think there are starfish in the pot where the broccoli once boiled, and I'm wearing a moccasin on one foot... just one.

Something's itching, but I ain't sure what. I've got... wow and dammmmn that guy is cute. What was I saying? Oh yeah...

I've watched *these many * (holding up an undisclosed number of fingers) episodes of Everybody Hates Chris, and a few less of House of Payne. I wish I had $50,000 just right here, sitting on the keyboard.

That guy is reeeally cute!

 Wonder if he's a knucklehead too. Most likely is.


I drew and colored a picture of paisleys and... my thumb-knuckle hurts... and the more I look at it, the more it bothers me. It's making me nawzy-ate-it. Who invented paisley? Was it someone named 'Paisley'? Psychedelic like a shack.

Crazy... like a glue.

Wait... What?


That stupid cat sleeps all damn day and is up all night howling and speaking fluent english. She says things like "I'm rather loud! I'm rather loud!" I plastic'ed my windows after the first snowfall, and she thinks it's funny to burrow under it or rip streaks into it. Defeats the purpose of winterizing.

Then, overnight, she crawls over my head like it's some typa cat ramp, digging her hind-legs into my forehead as she pummels herself through the air at random times of the evening, time after time after time. I wake up with scratch-marks on my grill. Right now, I'm gonna go return the favor. Gonna climb on her face and howl like a wolverine while she's tryna sleep.

I had a video card in my computer that walked away. I seent it. I can't play The Sims 2 anymore because of it. How far could it have gone?

I don't wanna be a homebody, but I can't help myself. Or maybe I can and don't wanna. When I'm out kickin' it, I miss my house. Maybe I oughtta transform my place into a club. Make some cardboard cut-outs of people & pierce glow-sticks through their faces, dub a techno tape, string some strobe-ish lights and never leave the house again.

I am hown'GREE! Dieting is worse than gettin' drunk. Tomorrow, I'm effin some homemade chocolate chip cookies UP!







*I get paid to surf the web. Gonna be rich and invent fat-free-fried-chicken*


2 comments:

dori* said...

Sometimes fasting causes hallucinations. Now I've witnessed the Honey Bee stream of conciousness. I have to go now because my cat took a giant dump and I have to gag.

HoneyB said...

Must be some typa cat-owners telepathy because your comment made me gag too! lol. Good thing the fonk only lasts a few minutes max!

And as soon as the diet was over and I had Ben & Jerry's (to celebrate), I was back to normal! No more hallucination blogging!