Dreamscape: Let's Drive Where?

Wednesday evening, I dreamt of a bus ride.

A semi-decrepit old lady with a jet black, short pixie-style haircut

Stretched her skinny, wrinkly, turkey-neck arms out to steer that greatbighuge tour bus's steering wheel. 

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"Italy. Just for the weekend." She answered.

I was never good with geography.

All I know is that Chicago is in Illinois. 

And South Africa is somewhere... south. 

But if I'm not mistaken...

Isn't there a whole lotta non-bus-accessible water between here and there?

Granny gave me deafening silence, in return. 

So I spent the trip french-braiding a girl's hair. 

Which was in itself weird, because I only did one single braid.

Diagonal, from the top right, to the bottom left. 

Why is this lady whipping these corners around the mountain so hard?

I... am frightened.

The last corner she cut hard, nearly sending us over a cliff...

Then I woke up. Sweating.

Meep Meep! Step on it lady! I'm tryna get to Bologna!

Dreamscape: Bling. Thanks, but No.

Two nights ago after a late night fish-oil tablet, I had a vivid dream...

As I always do after a fish-oil tablet.

I think the havoc it creates in my pores makes my mind move a million-miles-per-minute.

So I broke down, broke tradition, gave the man I thought I loved a double-diamond ring.

Two round faceted stones, diagonally stacked sideways

Like a lounging snowman.

Maybe that was some subconscious thing... 'snowman'. Don't know.

I flipped the box open and presented the ring. I proposed.

He took the ring, put it on and flailed his fingers.

Without having answered my proposal.

Then he extended his elbow and I grasped his arm like a good

Maybe-probably wife.

From there he took me 'round town.

Flaunted me in front of all his friends.

Lookit! I'm a trophy fiancee! I blushed.

He told me..

"The answer is NO, by the way."

Ummm... You might wanna give that back, homey.

Devoured

Love was Delicious.

It wrapped itself around my skin 

And enveloped me in warmth.

Love was Delicious.

Then I ate it and shat it out. 

Blah.

Connect

The truth is...

I'm not even looking for love. The harder we look, the more it evades us. I am happy with the circle of friends I have, who provide me with more than I am willing to admit I deserve sometimes. But sometimes... just sometimes... the desire to connect, to really connect is there.

There are moments in my life when stress gets the best of me, and life's trials and tribulations are so much to bear. Those are the times I Wish...

Consider...

Dream of...

Contemplate...

Wallow in the beauty of 'What If?'

To have someone who provides a shoulder, 

Or an ear,

Hug, embrace, an affirming nod.

Someone who doesn't try to solve my problems

But who can hear them, and understand not just WHAT I'm going through, 

But just to recognize that I am going through it.

Someone who knows when my day is going bad

Or when I feel my efforts have not been enough

And when I simply need... 

Someone.

And he stretches out his arm to pull me near.

Saves a sweet spot on his chest for me to lie my head.

And in that near silence,

With his heartbeat, 

I feel that all will be okay in the world.

[End Wishful Thinking Here]

The Thrill of Heartbreak

A friend had confided in me about a girl he was pursuing, that he was sure was not as interested in him. I suggested he give up before his heart was broken. Unless... he was into that kind of stuff.

In so many words, he replied "As a mater of fact, I am" (...into that kind of stuff)

He said he liked the excitement of love and everything in between that might eventually lead to heartbreak. The 'drama' of it all.

Another friend said "Why do we eat, if we know we will eventually die?" Morbidly interesting point, lol. The purpose of life is to live it while we are here. Eat while we live, til we die. Love while we live, til we are heartbroken.

Even if it hurts to love and be broken, is it truly better than never loving at all?

I think I have loved too much to make a fair assessment. I have compared the level of elation of being in love... to the level of heartache I've felt when love ended. All I can conclude is... both are insanely overwhelming! (but obviously on opposite ends of the spectrum)

Let's hope my next blog will be about me and the falling in love aspect. Now THAT... is long overdue.

Heartbreak... Yummy! 

One Woman, Many Men

Today marked Day 2 of an ongoing online debate. The topic of "Making Things Simpler by Having a Sex Buddy".

To which I have replied: Nothing is simple when sex is involved. More specifically, a woman is less likely to have a strictly sexual relationship with a man... without the chance of feelings being involved. In turn, I was accused of setting a double standard.

As far as I knew, double standards are when you have a moral code set for one side, and not the other. I don't believe it's 'morally' wrong for a woman to have many partners, anymore than it is for a man to have them.

Example:

Fact/Opinion:

A woman is more likely to cry at the movies. A man is less likely.

Double Standard:

It is only acceptable for a woman to cry at the movies. Never for a man.

I know I'm not wrong here.

What I DO believe, is that a typical woman will become emotionally involved while having intimate relations with a man. We're just wired that way. We are more likely to 'make love', men are more likely to 'screw'. And I believe any woman who thinks she is capable of having "just sex" with a man, without having any feelings... even if they're tucked away in her subconscious... is probably fooling herself.

Cursed be this estrogen.

The Untimely & Repeated Death of Chivalry

It's not at all fair, really. A thousand kind gentlemen within reach, and one single knucklehead spoils the show for the rest of you.

At what point in time... in what country... did it become okay to approach women with overtly sexual introductions? How and when is that okay? It seems like common sense that if you are in fact interested in a woman, to bring your A-Game. Not your X-Game. Maybe some girls love that kind of attention. Some women certainly do not.

As if the message wasn't clear enough (I think he had his weewee in his other hand... which is why he couldn't ever finish a thought):

I'm sorry, sir. I'm not clear on your intentions. Please specify what you really want?

Ohhhh, okay. I understand now. Pleased to make your acquaintance?

Then, when the girl doesn't reply to your disturbing and obnoxious advances, and all else fails... go HERE:

Yeeeeah, THAT oughtta win my heart. Minutes ago you wanted to "F" my fake sweet "P", lol.

Ya damned looney.