Love Is: Seventeen Katrillion Calories

My fluctuating girth can be attributed to many things.

The most predominant of those things are... well, food. Naturally.

I have found that I indulge in comfort foods and the joy of cooking...

When I am in Love. 

When my heart is all a'flutter, my tummy is all a'growling.

Although I would never recommend the Stress-Induced Diet to anyone,

The truth is, it works, just for all the wrong reasons.

Maybe when we're not in Love, we focus more on being all svelte and sexyfied for the next encounter? Although men who like fat chicks are just kinder... gentler... more considerate and loving creatures by nature. That must lie in the satisfaction of knowing that if your girl is fluffy, she's eating good. And if she's eating, she's cooking. And if she's cooking, and she loves you... you will be eating good too.

*fat raspy voice*

"Sherman I cooked all this food. Is that all you gon' eat?"
~Anna Pearl Klump

Love is sweet and rich. Filling and satisfying. Much like a Twinkie.

When my spirits are high, so is my calorie intake. 

Love just reminds me of snacks... and chickens deep fried.

Kisses... Hershey's.

Tartar sauce with a side of crispy fish sticks.

Butter and hamhocks and Edy's Caramel Praline Crunch.

A big bag of plain Lay's, a vat of Louisiana hot sauce and On-Demand.

A 2-liter of 7-up with a straw I wish was long enough to hit the bottom.

Damn. 

And now I'm howngree.

I forgot where I was headed with this.