Dear God: Knock it Off

I truly believe God is quite the comedian. For those of you sensitive to comments about the Man and the Word and the Book and such... God's got jokes, and I've lived them.

There was the time he made me think my car had stalled in the middle of the night on a deserted road... when it turned out, I'd inadvertently kicked the hunk o'junk  into [N]eutral. He waited until I'd tried desperately, crying, to steer to a safe area alongside the road... before my sight was led in the direction of the dimly lit display on my dashboard. It said:

[N]

As in:

Duh! I felt like a

And so there's the God we recognize with a constant solemn, sincere expression all the time, but mine occasionally delivers His messages to me with a smirk and a *point-and-laugh* gesture. He once divinely hurled a tiny metal pin into the tire of my grocery cart. It halted my walk so hard, my neck snapped back... in the middle of the Rice Krispies aisle. The pin read:

Our Gods are surely one in the same, but MINE seems to prevail more often than not. I promise, He does.

He knows I've always been a sucker for a nice guy. He has been kind enough to shield me from many (possibly) potential heartaches.
Thank you and Hallelujah.


Then along came a sweet and beautiful beast of  temptation!



First, I was like






Got to know him a bit and was like

Then he said something sweet and I was like

Then I started feeling all enamored and stupid like

And while basking in the glow of this enchantment....


God nudged me lightly and said::

"You like him, right? If you do, I suggest you approach him"

Assuming my God was already aware of my feelings, I thought:
I like him a LOT! And I WILL! (...and I DID!)


And I am glad I did. I became accustomed to my days being filled with pleasant emotions and the frequent episodes of toasty, warm fuzzies associated with him.

"Did you know? 

He's *that age* and you are *this age*?"

Smitten and partially blinded by red heart bubbles popping near my eyes, I thought:

Alright... I noticed. And?

"Did you know?

He lives *over there* and you are *over here*?"

I had immediately begun to budget my future savings plan dedicated to the long distance trips.

Whew. That IS far, but... Okay... I noticed. And?

"And, did you know?

A guy that great would... already have a girlfriend!"

Of COURSE he would already have a girlfriend. Of COURSE he'd be someone else's Mr. Wonderful!

  

Wait... there's more...

Dear Love: Thanks, but NO THANKS! I've just about had it with you! Peace and Out!

And..

Dear God: I love you, but this had better not be YOU, right now: