Love Square

THIS wants THAT

THAT wants SOMETHING ELSE

But HE wants THIS, nonetheless.

If THAT wanted THIS

And HE didn't care

My world would be less of a mess.

For Sandy

I don't feel the need to smile
When my friend's in pain


I can't see the sunshine
Through the sheets of pouring rain

 


I don't feel the need to dance
To talk, or vibe, or sing


All I feel's the need to help
Through every hurtful thing

 



All I want to do is cry
And paint this bright world blue


But...


If you should ever smile again
I'll be there smiling too
 

 

To Sandy: The strongest woman I know...
I'm praying for strength for you and Derrick through this heartache. May your babygirl now soar with the most 'beautifullest' of angels (yes, I know that's not a word, but you know me!)


With Love.

The Hunter

The rules of tradition say that women aren't to pursue the man, that it's human nature for the man to do the hunting. Some even say it's unladylike to flirt or show aggression, or do nothing more than show a bit of approval or interest should he notice us and approach us first.

So by nature or tradition (which seems perpetually outdated), a man is more likely to have what he wants, based solely on him being the only one in pursuit.

I just so happen to like the thrill of the hunt, although it rarely ever works in my favor.

That's what I get for going against the grain.

Achievement Locked

Run

Every night from the comfort of  this bed & blanket  I run

With the ground pressed hard beneath rapid steps

That hit the earth at the pace of the heartbeat

Through gravel and concrete, grass and mud I run

Away from this, that, him and her

Telling myself to not look back, not ever

Spanning the area of this world

Headed in the opposite direction from  my troubles

Even if it rains,  I run even if it snows

Everything around me a blur,  not a burden

And every morning I wake up at the starting line

Risking It

Throughout my life I've learned that there are no new experiences without risk. Sure, some things happen by chance... some that turn out wonderful, and others that don't. 

I  recognize the importance of the lesson. I'm not a risky person... not on purpose anyway. So now that I'm at a crossroad, I'm not exactly sure which route to take.

Taking a risk means there is the chance of losing.

...I hate losing!

Taking a risk means there is the chance of succeeding.

...I love succeeding!

So I'm wondering which power is greater. The rewards of winning, or the heartache of losing. Something says I should know better by now, and move on. Something else tells me I'll miss out on something wonderful if I do.

The Longing

Sitting, my lower back pressed deep into the 

Corner of the wall and floor with...

The shakes, or something like it.

Grasping for a little. Grasping for a lot of

It.

At this point, I'd settle for anything. Something. Any portion, form, or likes of

It.

Clenching my teeth tight and inhaling deep, nostrils flared

Eye's corner ducts full and heavy with brine.

I crave.

And crave and crave and crave (and crave, too).

Steam escapes my nose like that Chicago Bull.

Not the suited mascot.

In my fisted hand I hold a curled, auburn tendril of hair.

Seconds from ripping it from it's very roots...

Remembering  how long it took me to grow that tendril in the first place, so

I digress, however.

There is the insistent taunting. I can't have It. 

Heaven only knows how much I want It. 

Bury my face, into the pillowcase (that rhymed).

And scream

And scream and scream and scream.

In a hissy-fitted tantrum I kick the sheets and blanket.

And ensnare my feet up in its weft rendering me still

So now I'm trapped and livid.

Ree-heeeally livid.

Confined in cotton I sigh.

And still yearn.

I NEED SOME FUCKIN' CHOCOLATE!!!!